Ladies do not eat a banana in public, 

you will not be able to protect yourselves,

ladies do not eat a banana in public, 

the men will not be able to control themselves. 

OH MY GOD, she doesn’t care she has it in her hands,

rebel girl

she puts it to her mouth 

that big tasty yellow and brown!  

Why aren’t you listening to me, 

no you just don't understand,

they will make you out to be the next Frances Farmer, 

you will be crying and screaming like she did, 

‘They have taken away my civil rights!’ 

Well HA HA HA , 

you never had any in the first place,  

with the  affliction of a vagina reality really fucking bites. 

You stupid dumb fuck! 

This is really gunna suck! 

So now you are hysterical!  

Problems stemming from childhood,  

but only umbilical, 


Daddy issues!  


An Anorexic and an Alcoholic  

Nights spent alone messaging men for sex on the Internet, 

oh God someone get me a video camera it’s just so now, this is just so melancholic, 

but that bastard your boyfriend!

him saying you are histrionic,  

but we know what that means us girls

yeah, yeah we know what that means.   

Well Howdy Partner, 

the American Psychiatric Association just recently diagnosed me with a disorder, 

I am an attention seeker!

I thought I was a public speaker,  

I am a seductress!

but I was just trying to get a place on your guest list, 

I am preoccupied and live for drama! 

OH MY GOD I was just trying to eating a banana!!!! 

So now I am all tied up,  

and the men in white coats wont give me what I want, what I desire the most,

more than anything, 

They said it would be inappropriate,  



and even menacing! 

But they keep teasing, 

And I have tried everything!  

And I can’t take a shit,  

and I can’t go to sleep. 

But they keep teasing, they keep saying if I’m a good girl, if I'm a sweet girl, do my hair right,  

shut the fuck up when I am told and swallow my dolls down right, 

there’s a chance,  

a tiny little chance I might get my precious mush nutritious yellow and brown, 

I’ll promise not to listen to the Velvet Underground,

Josephine Baker is no longer my heroine, I’ll find a new source of serotonin, 

I won’t talk about going down the market to get a bowl for a pound, 

But then it’s all taken away and I don’t get the potassium I crave, 

OH GOD soluble fibre I am your slave!!! 

Dear Vitamin B, dear Vitamin C, I love thee. 

And now you think I’m crazy and you don’t take me seriously, 

And I know it was all lies, 

and I realise the supreme power of authority just wanted to fuck me! 

All because I went outside and exercised my civil right!  

All because I went outside I was hungry! 

And now I am engaged in a bitter public fight. 

Well this time I won’t give it up, pack it in and lay on my back! 

so you can go and fuck yourself Terry Richardson!

You can have my banana and you can shove it up your ass,

this time us girls will be eating our bananas, 

pussy pressed down,

watching you, 

from above the fucking glass.